risk

this morning i was rudely awoken at 8 am. meaning one thing. we were going to sunday school. I am not a huge fan of sunday school. where i am thrust into an environment of 50 something old couples, and their parents. My parents generation and their parents generation. I have had somewhat of a hard time relating in the past. but i have learned how to deal. become an observer. it has been interesting to see what these people think of their children, to see what they worry about, how they relate, how they perceive the world, what they struggle with. verses how i feel about all those things. so very interesting. Today was a discussion of risk. What is it, how and can it be done wisely, what is worth the risk. etc. And it was so interesting to see how these people perceived risk, or thought a worthwhile risk was. What "risking for the Lord" looked like. Of course the discussion focused mainly on mission work, or lifestyle changes. And the goal i think was to show us how obsessed with safety we are. which was very apparent in the class, people being very aware of how to stay away from risky situations, to keep their children, their finances and themselves safe. And after a lot of "healthy, heated" discussion, it was pointed out how little we trust God. However. I am at a very different point in my life. My life is all risk. I have nothing to do but step out in the world and put myself full force into getting into grad school, into trying to get a job, finding an apartment, making new friends, and to figuring out what my life holds. Hell I'm going to india in a week by myself, to do medical volunteer work. what a risk. and i look back at the fearful person i used to be hardly recognize myself. i'm not as afraid of risks as i used to be, not as afraid of putting myself out there, to doing things i might not have the chance of doing later. Now is the time for risks in life. Now is the time to experience everything i can, to take the world by force. and as my favorite quote says... "The purpose of life is not to arrive safely at death" I want my life to be one that has been fully lived.