white.

I really cannot help myself. When there is any hint of snow i instantly revert to a 7 year old who is eager for sledding and no school. for snowsuits and big boots and hot chocolate in cold hands. there is just something so whimsical about the whole experience of snow. everything so blanketed with white. crisp. new. i have a new hat with ear flaps. this is only making things worse. hee hee. love snow. LOVE IT.

babies.

i am not one who is shy to admit that they are not good with children. I'm not one of those girls who runs up to children and plays with them. who holds strangers cute babies. or even babysits. i look at them from afar and enjoy them briefly when i have to, talking to them awkwardly. perhaps this all stems from growing up the youngest out of everyone in my extended family, i blame lack of experience. But recently this has all begun to change.
exposure.
I've begun to make friends with people who happen to have kids. women at church, and our next door neighbor. women who are not so different from myself. its been a wonderful experience. walking into church and having kids excited to see you. making little boys smile and giggle. and playing with little baby girls. looking for kids in obvious hiding places. perhaps. i just didnt know the right kids before because all of these are awesome.

this little girl is norah. she's the little girl next door we stop by to play with on our way in and out of our apartment. she is fantastic, and has the cutest little smile. she has taken a liking to me. (a new experience for me) it has been so fun to play with this happy little girl.

Oh do come in...

                                                the new place.

God is breaking down my idealistic idea of adulthood.

samuel barber

simply a genius. this is the most profoundly inspiring and beautiful classical work. something about it. i have always loved it, i will never stop loving it. it will never cease to pull on my heart. i remember i when i first heard this on strings, a quartet only ten or so rows ahead of me, i wept it was so beautiful. singing this work was another incredible experience. so powerfully emotive. i wonder what he was thinking. what he was feeling when he wrote this.

pomegranites

little kernels of rich sweet goodness. the color alone is simple astounding. deep and rich. just like the taste. its what i always hoped wine to taste like. fancy. decadent. pomegranites lift so many wonderful memories out of the shadows. friends from past places. the strange old man who grew them across the street. the birth of my elitism. India. wonderful memories that are strung along in my throughout my life. consciousness string along. delightful. just like today.

my mantra