happiness is circumstantial. joy is not.

I woke up and did not want to get out of bed. but i was going to church so it was ok. i missed church because of the joint service at another location. we laughed about it, and sang in the parking lot. and had breakfast together instead. all the breakfast hurt my stomach. so we walked and took pictures by broken things. showing the beauty in distress. we came back... i had to write my senior thesis. alone. but took a break for coffee anyways. my car was moved from the weekend parking lot for me. My laundry was done for me. my room was cleaned for me. and i wrote. and wrote. and wrote. I received a beautiful letter. and wrote and wrote and wrote. i "finished" at least the best i can. for today. two weeks from now my senior thesis will be over and turned in. for forever and ever. my brain is fried. and my heart is full. hugs all around. today was a good day.

humanity

"The only dream worth having is to dream that you will live while you're alive and die only when you're dead. To love, to be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest place. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never forget." -Arundhati Roy

shades of orange

I am sitting here on a drizzly crisp day in this wonderful little coffee shop at the foot of lookout mountain. Its autumn and the trees have exploded in a fire of colors and are slowly drifting and swirling around in the wind. I have turned in my graduate school applications, I am well rested, and in the presence of art, coffee, and companionship. I feel so light.

So you think you can dance.

This routine is freaking amazing and you should watch it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSzPdn9jWmY but yeah i saw this live with one of my best friends at the so you think you can dance tour. try not to be jealous. although it really makes me wish that i could dance.

there are just no words

I don't even know how to begin, i have not the skill nor the comprehension to write down all the blessings that have come into my life. I have been non stop busy. I have been taking test after test and writing grad school essays and avoiding my senior thesis, and working. All sorts of horribly taxing types of things. And yet I do not feel burdened, I do not feel too overwhelmed. I feel blessed. It seems like every single day. God has given me some wonderful undeserved gesture of grace, and i feel unworthy of it. It seems as though it has been so long since i have been taught gently. I have become accustomed change of a more painful and challenging nature, due to my own stubbornness. But God has softened my heart that i had so avidly protected, and so encouraged my broken spirit, that Joy has simply overflowed my heart. I had forgotten things. feelings mainly. I did not comprehend the completeness of a great friendship. I had forgotten the genuine concern and care that my professors have for me. The joy of people challenging me and stimulating conversation. And amist the whirlwind of academia I am content even joyful and that is more than enough for me.