a little is enough

today was one of those days. Started off a little rough and really nothing spectacular happened, but all the little things lined up just right. The clothes i wore today were old, but just felt so right. My favorite pair of jeans with the hole on the butt that i turned into paint pants so i wouldnt wear them again, a green paint stain on the thigh. old loafers, stained blue on account of my addiction to blue jeans. my soft white tank top, and a new happy white patterned t-shirt. These clothes made me happy and confident today, the way they were used to my body, how worn and loved they were. its amazing the little things that we are comforted by. I went to borjo to get out the house today, its been a little frustrating to be there recently. I parked far away to avoid the meters and to walk a little, it was a nice day. My bag slung over my shoulder, hoodie in hand. It seems i'm never without one, they AC everywhere to death in the summer. And i just sat there, and talked and skyped. fiddling with my new computer. eating a warm brownie. reading. reflecting. I love it there. its been good for my soul recently. coffee houses typically are. I took up my bible study again today, one that my dear friend and i started during the semester. It was so refreshing to be back in the word like that. So good to read things i would overlook. To write things down that i would easily forget. Its so easy to read a chapter of the bible and forget about it, its so easy to be lazy about it. But it is so much more wonderful this way. To sit down and take the time and to let ourselves be challenged by it. To write and to talk about it. discussing our thoughts with each other. it is incredible and powerful. everytime. why dont we do this more? I went to starbucks with friends, talked about my future plans, got some free coffee. ate a blue icee pop. Went to a chick flick that they didnt enjoy. but i did. Oh dear, there are some handsome men in the ugly truth. mmmm. and it makes me want to go dancing and makes me wish i had a boyfriend. As most chick flicks do. Another thing, mainly a feeling, of womanhood, adulthood. Me in my loved clothes, walking confindently down the stairs of a friends apartment, messenger bag slung over my head. keys in hand. And it hit me. In a few weeks, this will be me everyday. making my way to class, to work down the stairs from my very own little apartment. on my own out in the world. :) I cannot wait. I drove home listening to an old CD i thought i lost, that a past roommate made me, all the songs were perfect, good for the soul, that girl has a gift for making CD's. Makes me realize i need to find some good gospel music. or just some more music in general. (i've been in a music funk, if you have suggestions, i'd LOVE them. OR make me a CD. i would pass out from happiness) Tonight i ate wheatabix, with fresh blueberries milk and a little half and half. it was the best idea i've ever had. absolutely delicious. And now i'm going to talk to my best friend, and go to sleep. A rough day. turned out pretty well. its the little things that bless us the most.

future

My life is simultaneously on pause and fast foward. plan plan plan. that is the word of the year. I'm tired of planning. I want to do. I want to start making steps out into the real world. but i'm stuck by the plans. the little hangups. the "what ifs". the technicalities. this stage sucks. I have four weeks until it all begins. whatever that is...i hope its right.