simplify

if ya'll didnt know

2011-03-27T13:52:00.000-05:00

this is where i'm at
http://pealsofthnder.tumblr.com/

-t

for my fearful heart

2010-03-10T10:49:00.000-06:00

do one thing that scares you everyday
- eleanor roosevelt.

2010-03-01T18:47:00.000-06:00

I wish it were spring. I long to lie down in dry fields. wind humming through the tall grass. in the company of a good friend and a sweet white bottle of wine. spilling our hearts.

white.

2010-02-05T19:40:00.001-06:00

I really cannot help myself. When there is any hint of snow i instantly revert to a 7 year old who is eager for sledding and no school. for snowsuits and big boots and hot chocolate in cold hands. there is just something so whimsical about the whole experience of snow. everything so blanketed with white. crisp. new. i have a new hat with ear flaps. this is only making things worse. hee hee. love snow. LOVE IT.

babies.

2010-01-27T12:52:00.001-06:00

i am not one who is shy to admit that they are not good with children. I'm not one of those girls who runs up to children and plays with them. who holds strangers cute babies. or even babysits. i look at them from afar and enjoy them briefly when i have to, talking to them awkwardly. perhaps this all stems from growing up the youngest out of everyone in my extended family, i blame lack of experience. But recently this has all begun to change.
exposure.
I've begun to make friends with people who happen to have kids. women at church, and our next door neighbor. women who are not so different from myself. its been a wonderful experience. walking into church and having kids excited to see you. making little boys smile and giggle. and playing with little baby girls. looking for kids in obvious hiding places. perhaps. i just didnt know the right kids before because all of these are awesome.

this little girl is norah. she's the little girl next door we stop by to play with on our way in and out of our apartment. she is fantastic, and has the cutest little smile. she has taken a liking to me. (a new experience for me) it has been so fun to play with this happy little girl.

Oh do come in...

2009-11-16T16:41:00.004-06:00

the new place.

2009-11-12T22:34:00.002-06:00

God is breaking down my idealistic idea of adulthood.

samuel barber

2009-11-12T16:31:00.000-06:00

simply a genius. this is the most profoundly inspiring and beautiful classical work. something about it. i have always loved it, i will never stop loving it. it will never cease to pull on my heart. i remember i when i first heard this on strings, a quartet only ten or so rows ahead of me, i wept it was so beautiful. singing this work was another incredible experience. so powerfully emotive. i wonder what he was thinking. what he was feeling when he wrote this.

pomegranites

2009-11-10T13:18:00.000-06:00

little kernels of rich sweet goodness. the color alone is simple astounding. deep and rich. just like the taste. its what i always hoped wine to taste like. fancy. decadent. pomegranites lift so many wonderful memories out of the shadows. friends from past places. the strange old man who grew them across the street. the birth of my elitism. India. wonderful memories that are strung along in my throughout my life. consciousness string along. delightful. just like today.

my mantra

2009-10-28T16:11:00.000-05:00

breathe

2009-10-27T13:45:00.002-05:00

pencils fly, my mind reels and triple checks everything. I call Robin every hour. on the hour. until she give me the information i need about my voluteer hours. no success yet.
Graduate School here we come.

...hopefully.

.yellow.

2009-10-20T09:50:00.000-05:00

no sleep last night. the gorgeous weather has held out for another day. emotions run high and focus low on days like these. but oftentimes my senses are heightened is such a beautifully brilliant way. colors pop. music dances and flows. the thoughts are gone from my exhausted mind and I simply get to experience the world the way it is. fall is in full swing. the yellows an reds are especially vibrant today. leaves. bright specs of color that flash on the wind. and skitter across the ground. music wraps around my weary body, soothing the frayed ends of my spirit, lifting them ever so slightly. i've tucked myself away on a couch in the corner of a coffee shop, spiced apple chai cooling next to me. this day might turn out to be worthwhile after all.

afternoons.

2009-09-20T15:07:00.001-05:00

sunday afternoon. rain trickling down my window. the cloudy sky gives my room a dimly lit homely feeling, the warm glow from my lamp filling the room. i feel cosy as i study for my psych test tomorrow eating a freshly picked golden delicious apple. and as i sit here on my bed, in my room, in my apartment. and i feel at home.

mornings.

2009-09-16T07:39:00.000-05:00

5 am. this is when i wake up on wednesday and friday. oh and 6 am. the other days. needless to say i have some pretty early classes this semester. but as small as that number is. 5. my mornings have been different from the past. not a morning person didnt even begin to explain how mornings and i got along before. but i am finding this starting to change, and while the getting out of bed is hard. after that. the morning is quite enjoyable. and i am seeing and feeling things that i missed out on while i was sleeping away my mornings.

eating breakfast. my current favorite. maple and brown sugar miniwheats.

driving over the illinois river bridge facing the sunrise.

and by far my favorite. walking outside in the dawn. when the light is soft, and the air is that cool crisp fall temperature. condensation has beaded up on all the cars, it is quiet. and its like i'm about to sneak off onto some big great adventure. possibilities. the morning is full of them.

ahh. mondays. a totally different meaning.

2009-09-14T12:23:00.000-05:00

Mondays. They are my new favorite day. I get to wake up later than usual. I have a little more time to get ready, today i got to sit and eat breakfast and make myself coffee and actually read for a moment. just a pause. it was a delight. my class, adulthood and aging, is becoming fun. Its always 90% discussions, and not theological debates, or philisophical questions, or people competing to look smarter than each other, or to prove how smart they are. but laughing and telling stories, all these people have experiences. all i have is knowledge. its nice to enjoy both aspects. its nice to start feeling in place there. Also, the big perk of mondays, is that Jill doesnt work. So i get to hang out with her. Today we're studying/writing/reading at kade's. This is my new favorite place. Its nice to have found a nice place in a new city. Today i chose to settle into a place that i normally wouldnt sit. typically i like to be secluded off in a corner, away from all the traffic in and out, from the noise and distractions. not in the heart of the coffee shop. but today. I am sitting facing it all. I have a great view of the barista. His hands just seem to dance, so fluid in the practiced movements, they work on their own, he doesnt pause to think, doesnt set anything down. and all the while interacting with each customer, some friends, some new, but its almost hard to tell which is which. everything about him seems natural. you can tell he's been doing this for years, such experience, and almost finesse. its such a joy to watch. i think that i wish my life could be like that, that i could do all the right movements, be a part of this beautiful dance, and not even have to pause to think, to just know how things go. to just do what is right. to just know the next step. but i guess right now. I'm just learning the steps. but all in all. today my heart feels light. i feel more natural and confident than usual. like i just made a breakthrough in learning the song, hearing the beats, making my feet move right. its a good day.

new hat.

2009-09-04T23:00:00.000-05:00

how fitting. a new hat, equaled to a new mindset. After long days of being reclusive, feeling sorry for myself, and generally feeling lost i've decided i've had enough. I came to illinois for an adventure. a new chapter. to learn and to grow. not to sit in my apartment and hide, not to be bashful about my intelligence in class, and not be be this young wavering shakey girl. Its time to get assertive, to remember who i am. or perhaps to redefine it. goals need to be set, projects need to be planned, friendships need to be make, books read, and journals need to be extensively written in. I am at a beginning, a crossroads and an end. but whatever i do. and where ever i am. I want to go confidently, do things wholeheartedly and with purpose. It is with this outlook i want to go into the rest of my week and on. so it is with a new hat, a new book, and a new journal i begin again. i sort through the mess, and wind up the ends.

title

2009-08-13T12:54:00.000-05:00

this morning I made incredible coffee, and snuck off to the beach with my books and my journal. I chose a place slightly secluded. a porch swing behind our motel. I love finding little spots like this. It looked onto the beach and the waves, but kept me away from all the people. I just sat there, swinging. with the wind drying my hair. book in my lap and coffee in my hand. Velvet elvis, i suggest it to everyone, rob bell is a genius. I love days like this. its amazing the power of a good book, a good cup of coffee or a good song. it just lightens the soul.

2009-08-02T18:25:00.000-05:00

security is mostly a superstition. it does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all. - helen keller i like this, and i dont like it. but it made me think.

boxes

2009-08-01T20:11:00.000-05:00

Yesterday i bought moving boxes. Ten brown cardboard boxes, 5 small, 5 medium, into which all of my things will go, carefully chosen, carefully wrapped. Off to a new home. MY home. I'm about to embark on a big adventure. Halfway across the country. i look forward to the hours of driving. just me and my brown cardboard boxes. the open road stretching in front of me. Starbucks in my cup holder, my Ipod working hard. its almost an active representation of my transition. from child to adult. from cities to cornfields. flat. wide open spaces. where a girl can breathe. I feel like my heart will finally be at home. i can't wait to walk barefoot in that midwest dirt. to a small town. to cornfields. to a place with communities. the land of new beginnings. i can't wait.

a little is enough

2009-07-25T23:35:00.000-05:00

today was one of those days. Started off a little rough and really nothing spectacular happened, but all the little things lined up just right. The clothes i wore today were old, but just felt so right. My favorite pair of jeans with the hole on the butt that i turned into paint pants so i wouldnt wear them again, a green paint stain on the thigh. old loafers, stained blue on account of my addiction to blue jeans. my soft white tank top, and a new happy white patterned t-shirt. These clothes made me happy and confident today, the way they were used to my body, how worn and loved they were. its amazing the little things that we are comforted by. I went to borjo to get out the house today, its been a little frustrating to be there recently. I parked far away to avoid the meters and to walk a little, it was a nice day. My bag slung over my shoulder, hoodie in hand. It seems i'm never without one, they AC everywhere to death in the summer. And i just sat there, and talked and skyped. fiddling with my new computer. eating a warm brownie. reading. reflecting. I love it there. its been good for my soul recently. coffee houses typically are. I took up my bible study again today, one that my dear friend and i started during the semester. It was so refreshing to be back in the word like that. So good to read things i would overlook. To write things down that i would easily forget. Its so easy to read a chapter of the bible and forget about it, its so easy to be lazy about it. But it is so much more wonderful this way. To sit down and take the time and to let ourselves be challenged by it. To write and to talk about it. discussing our thoughts with each other. it is incredible and powerful. everytime. why dont we do this more? I went to starbucks with friends, talked about my future plans, got some free coffee. ate a blue icee pop. Went to a chick flick that they didnt enjoy. but i did. Oh dear, there are some handsome men in the ugly truth. mmmm. and it makes me want to go dancing and makes me wish i had a boyfriend. As most chick flicks do. Another thing, mainly a feeling, of womanhood, adulthood. Me in my loved clothes, walking confindently down the stairs of a friends apartment, messenger bag slung over my head. keys in hand. And it hit me. In a few weeks, this will be me everyday. making my way to class, to work down the stairs from my very own little apartment. on my own out in the world. :) I cannot wait. I drove home listening to an old CD i thought i lost, that a past roommate made me, all the songs were perfect, good for the soul, that girl has a gift for making CD's. Makes me realize i need to find some good gospel music. or just some more music in general. (i've been in a music funk, if you have suggestions, i'd LOVE them. OR make me a CD. i would pass out from happiness) Tonight i ate wheatabix, with fresh blueberries milk and a little half and half. it was the best idea i've ever had. absolutely delicious. And now i'm going to talk to my best friend, and go to sleep. A rough day. turned out pretty well. its the little things that bless us the most.

future

2009-07-25T12:12:00.001-05:00

My life is simultaneously on pause and fast foward. plan plan plan. that is the word of the year. I'm tired of planning. I want to do. I want to start making steps out into the real world. but i'm stuck by the plans. the little hangups. the "what ifs". the technicalities. this stage sucks. I have four weeks until it all begins. whatever that is...i hope its right.

India

2009-06-07T06:20:00.000-05:00

I have arrived safely in India. It took me four days to get to my placement and i was absolutely exhausted once i got there. I went to a short day of work. 3 hours. and saw a little bit of what i would be doing/watching. Theres not a whole lot to do in the Physical therapy department. its one room and there are three therapists and four therapy grad students. I'll probably stay there for the week and then see if i can transfer to orthopedics. I hope that i'm not bored and i can participate a little, but i have to be really active about asking what they're doing, where i can go, what i can do. But its really neat so far. My host family is great. Allen Phillips, his wife Usha their children Asha (a girl 15) and Anish ( a boy 17) they take great care of us, we have the internet, our own room and bathroom and clean food and water. I say our because i have a roommate Sarah Smith, its nice to not be alone and have someone who knows the lay of the land a little. it makes it all a little less nerve wracking. We went to Varkala this weekend, a beach resort on the cliffs. it was absolutly amazing. SO beautiful. i took many pictures that i am sure you ALL will be seeing once i get back. they'll be 85207 new facebook albums. ha. ALl the volunteers were there and it was nice to interact with people my age and who spoke my language, so effortless. and a nice respite before the real work begins. OH and i rode an elephant.

a step. out into the world.

2009-05-27T23:08:00.000-05:00

i wish that i could be a better writer. i wish that i could do big events justice. honestly. i don't know how reporters do it. I guess they're not personally involved, so they don't have their feelings and opinions to get in the way, just facts. or maybe feelings and opinions are what makes writers great. I started reading Annie dillard. she writes in the way i always wanted to. about the things I love, the things i want to see, the things i notice that i thought no one else did. it makes me want to live big, full, and yet completely simple. her words. her sentences, its nearly breath taking and i find a hint of a smile on my face when i read. perhaps i like small things and details so much that i find it to challenging to write about milestones. I find myself wordless. I cannot stop running my mouth about it, but when it comes to writing i am thwarted. written words are more honest. and i'm not sure how i feel about my impending adventure yet.

Let it be known. I'm going to India, in 5 days.

for some reason i kept it quiet for the most part, almost to scared to talk about it for fear that it wouldn't happen. some last minute detail that would keep me from going. I've tried to not build it up too much, so i wouldn't be disappointed. but everything has come through. and i find that i am shocked, everything is set, i have pretty much everything i need, but i feel in NO way prepared to go to India for a month. And honestly i dont think i'll fully believe it until i'm there. at my host family's house, going to work at the hospital. I'm a little terrified. every what if situation has run through my mind in order to be prepared. to have what i need. everything i can control i have a plan for. getting sick, getting hurt, sunburned, bored, inspired, lonely. All the things i cant plan for though. thats what is making me incredibly nervous. all of my unknowns. Will my host family like me? Will i be good at my job, will i be respected, will i make friends, is a month enough time, will this be a good experience? it reminds me of all my "first day of school" thoughts. When i was young, i was always so scared to start school, to change schools. for some reason i always thought i would never make friends and it would be too hard. i'd rather stay home with mom. all rather irrational and clinging to safety sort of thoughts. I am older now, but my mind tends to wander back. But i know that i would rather not stay here. I am so excited to go. eager even. India. so foreign. so different and new. its going to be amazing. i know it is. I'm so excited to learn, excited to take risks. to have this epic experience. to meet new people, interact with a new culture, try new things, and to come back changed. but man. that first step sure is nerve racking

risk

2009-05-24T17:51:00.000-05:00

this morning i was rudely awoken at 8 am. meaning one thing. we were going to sunday school. I am not a huge fan of sunday school. where i am thrust into an environment of 50 something old couples, and their parents. My parents generation and their parents generation. I have had somewhat of a hard time relating in the past. but i have learned how to deal. become an observer. it has been interesting to see what these people think of their children, to see what they worry about, how they relate, how they perceive the world, what they struggle with. verses how i feel about all those things. so very interesting. Today was a discussion of risk. What is it, how and can it be done wisely, what is worth the risk. etc. And it was so interesting to see how these people perceived risk, or thought a worthwhile risk was. What "risking for the Lord" looked like. Of course the discussion focused mainly on mission work, or lifestyle changes. And the goal i think was to show us how obsessed with safety we are. which was very apparent in the class, people being very aware of how to stay away from risky situations, to keep their children, their finances and themselves safe. And after a lot of "healthy, heated" discussion, it was pointed out how little we trust God. However. I am at a very different point in my life. My life is all risk. I have nothing to do but step out in the world and put myself full force into getting into grad school, into trying to get a job, finding an apartment, making new friends, and to figuring out what my life holds. Hell I'm going to india in a week by myself, to do medical volunteer work. what a risk. and i look back at the fearful person i used to be hardly recognize myself. i'm not as afraid of risks as i used to be, not as afraid of putting myself out there, to doing things i might not have the chance of doing later. Now is the time for risks in life. Now is the time to experience everything i can, to take the world by force. and as my favorite quote says... "The purpose of life is not to arrive safely at death" I want my life to be one that has been fully lived.

Class of 2009

2009-05-18T19:47:00.001-05:00

Graduation. It went by in a blur. a blur of black robes, hats and tassels. Marching down to the beating of scottish drums. marching with my peers. people who i have shared classes with, shared laughter and heartaches with. who have become near and dear friends. marching through the professors, the wise patient people who have shaped us and taught us through our years here. and through the many eager parents and friends with cameras, those people who were our support. to the front. The sound of bagpipes ringing in my ears and a big wide smile across my face. we sit. in a big mass of black. there is an air of excitement and anticipation. All of us waiting for the part where we get to walk across that stage. waiting to get that diploma that we've all worked so hard for. all the work. all the pain. the lack of sleep. the studying. the sacrifices. Its all about to pay off. right here. right now. we listen. to our president. to our classmates. to Kay Cole James and her inspiring words that are supposed to spur us on to bigger and better things. To great things. But I sit. In my cap and gown. a little startled to find myself at this point. walking up to the stage I laugh to myself. Amazed at how fast this went. Amazed that I'm here. My name is called. I walk across the stage with that ridiculous grin still spread wide across my face. I believe that every part of my body is smiling. I shake hands with my president, Neil Neilson, "Good Job Taryn" he says quietly. I take the scroll from his hands and walk off the stage. I've done it. I have graduated from college. I stop and pose for a picture and then make my way back to my seat. feelings of pride and accomplishment swelling in my chest. a milestone under my belt.

...hmm.

2009-04-28T10:05:00.000-05:00

Not gonna lie. I'm a little freaked out that today is the last day of classes. I just finished my final physics lab. ever. meaning that i will never have to set foot in a lab at covenant college again. I am relieved and happy. but a little sad. This part is over and done. weird.

songs and backwards glances

2009-04-23T08:13:00.000-05:00

I tend to be a person who is very deliberate about music. Very intentional about how i listen to it. Making sure that each song is the right thing to listen to at the right time, the mood has to fit, the sound has to be right, the lyrics fit. I am one who usually frowns on those who listen to songs over and over again, destroying a perfectly good song for themselves. Oh i want to do this, but naturally i am far to strong willed and musically elite to do it. and I refrain, convincing myself that it is far better to enjoy it later. However today was different. Two songs in series. I had to hear them today, they just came up on a playlist I had made, in sequence. Black Tables by Other Lives and Nine Sixteen by Bruno Merz. Back to back. I listened to them three times today, a rarity for me. On the scenic drive through Baylor high School’s campus. To Pasha, my favorite local coffee shop, and then once again back up the mountain. I suggest you listen to these, back to back. And enjoy the calm, the crisp soulful sounds of their masculine voices, the cellos, the poignant choruses. Its just so good over and over again.

As a side note.

I had to go to Baylor High School today and observe in their training room for my first aid class, and just let me tell you that that was quite the experience. Back in the world of high school drama, but as a college student. a totally uninvolved third party. I somehow found myself a little unable to relate to these kids. Then again I was somewhat unable to relate when I was in high school. But I was somewhat baffelled by how little they were, how awkward, how…high school. And I found myself thinking, I wonder where I would fit in now verses when I was there age. And I think that I would be about as cool as I was then. Now. which was not very. but I take comfort in the fact that I'm still that girl, too cool for the smart kids, to smart for the cool kids. perpetually the new kid, never with a concrete social slot. But yet now I'm nearly an adult, a woman. And i think that i've found my place. I come to terms with who I am a little better. I am more confident, which just makes me smile. Its interesting to have a glimpse back into that world.

.sigh.

2009-04-21T14:53:00.000-05:00

The school year is winding down. Its amazing. it came so fast. in a way i knew it would. it seems long and short, my whole college experience feels that way. so fast four years were over, and yet i felt at times that it would never end. I'm in the last few weeks of being "a college student" its crazy that this era of my life is coming to a close. mildly terrifying. a little heart renching. knowing that i wont be coming back to this place, a place that i have surprisingly come to love. I have all my routines, i have all my favorite places, i have friends and connections here, i know how to get everywhere and anywhere, i am comfortable and happy here. I'm not ready yet. I feel very ill prepared for making it on my own. but i take comfort in the fact that we are all feeling this way. scared. excited. eager to make a difference in the world. and yet baffelled at how to do it all. how to start my life. my real life. a job. an apartment. budgets. grad school? moving? i cant wait for the challenge, for all the new experiences, for learning new things. for becoming an adult. the unknown.

But for now all i know now is that I'm going to make every moment last. every last moment count. have as many epic adventures as possible. and revel in all the "lasts" of college.

a bright new day

2009-03-19T15:23:00.000-05:00

Today is just a wonderful day. It is bright and sunny. and warm. It is so nice to not be cold. for it to be clear. blue skies. the sun is shining, its rays warming my back. The breeze playing with my hair, brings the smells of freshly laid mulch and blooming flowers. Spring is upon us. the trees are in bloom with their tiny little budding leaves, their limbs filling up with blossoms, some of them come off in the breeze and slowly float to the ground. Daffodils are out, tulips and crocuses are slowly starting to poke their leaves out of the mulch and dirt. This sort of weather, the beginning of spring, the transition from the cold and the bleak, is a part of the year that i really enjoy. The sun makes everyone happier, bringing everyone out of their rooms to spend time outside. boys in hammocks napping with books on their chests, intentions of studying lost in a nap in the sun. everyone is either play on the lawn or hanging out under the trees. frisbees are flying. girls are laughing. There are even some studious ones sitting on benches reading. The sun is piercing through the clouds, which are few and far between, just shining brightly. everything is green, colors are popping out everywhere. this season of growth, this bright day and new weather is just refreshing. It makes me just want to go put on a flowing dress and walk through the warm breeze, barefoot, sun on my face, and not a care in the world.

Senegal

2009-02-27T14:25:00.000-06:00

My parents. as well as all these fine people in the attractive blue polos (plus a few others) are leaving for Senegal today for 10 days.

They are a team of three nurses, a dentist, a pharmacist, a pediatrician, a physician, a podiatrist, and my father "who has a background in public health" which may or may not be stretching the truth. All of them are flying out today, each with two suitcases in hand, one with their personal belongings, another packed to the brim with medical supplies. They are going to set up a clinic for 7 days with the intention of providing basic medical care for as many people as they can. From headaches, to wound care, to infectious diseases. All of this they will be doing this in a three room dirt floor, roofless building. In the sweltering heat, with no protection from the sun. Sterile technique will definitely be a challenge. I am asking you to pray. Pray for my family. Pray for the team. For safety. For effectiveness. For high spirits. And that the Lords work be done.

.wind.

2009-02-19T14:12:00.000-06:00

when i feel broken. when i have been thinking. thinking. thinking. and nothing has come of it, and its all a mess. when i am overwhelmed with my own thoughts and feelings. i feel, above everything, the need to get away. i feel the need to be outside. to be in the woods. to be walking. wind in my hair surrounded by trees. walking through tall grasses. grabbing the ends and twirling them in my fingers. laying on the ground. the grass concealing my location. the wind rushing through the trees. i can feel everything melt away in the expanse of nature. in the silence. and something about being on the ground. in the dirt. looking up at the sky. just puts everything back in its place. i feel grounded and secure.

this is something i normally do by myself. normally i'm too overwhelmed to deal with anyone. but this time. i took a friend. it was so much better. to share that experience with someone. to have someone to just sit and watch the world with.

end of an era

2009-02-12T12:30:00.001-06:00

a tragedy of the highest degree. my french press and the floor met in the most unfortunate way a few days ago. my trusty french press, that has been with me all through college, my dear friend who had two different parts from two different presses due to my mother mixing them up. who has been working overtime the past few months. she is now gone. we had a good run my friend. you will be missed for sure.

.back.

2009-01-15T13:41:00.000-06:00

driving today. i look out the window, crisscrossed with frozen dew. the sun streaming through the trees, the light glints off something. snow. so small, so light. like dust. causing the air, the sky, everything to lightly shimmer. and a smile just spread across my face. this picture just delighted my eyes. beauty. splendor. immaculate detail. sometimes the simplest things just astound me. i feel. lighter. i feel... relieved to be back. like i can breathe again. its good to have the things i need again. routine. challenges. love. its funny how easy we can forget these things. the simplest of things. how important and incredible it is to be needed and loved. how calming it is to have a set routine. How happy it makes me to be intellectually and spiritually challenged. In three short weeks, i slowly forgot. how all these things felt. how important they all are. vital. and it is funny how i almost need to get used to them again. need time to remember. amazing how fast we become used to the mediocre, the easy. this break, it was traumatizing going without. just drifting. flitting from thing to thing. i still feel a little shell shocked from the experience. almost like i need to recover. i am no longer content without. and will not go without these things again. it was just too hard. home. i've never had a place to associate with that word. it has always been a feeling. a feeling of comfort. of safety. of love. and familiarity. of deep knowing. and it is always with people. that is what home is to me. and that is how i feel.

empty

2008-12-28T19:49:00.000-06:00

sigh. i miss being two.

dad

2008-12-20T19:27:00.000-06:00

today. i spent the day with my father, my mother was away playing bells, so i woke up and it was just the two of us. i exit my room. and i look into my parents room and there is my dog. sitting in her bed. with reindeer antlers. and i just laugh. she looks so pathetic and ridiculous and adorable. and doesnt seem to mind the antlers my father put on her. but my dad. hearing my laugh says "oh did you see our new reindeer dog?" haha. so silly. i make coffee for both of us. and we discuss his adventures into the realm of french press and which coffee we've discovered, why its good. etc. i need to teach him more about the ins and outs of coffee. but i like the way we just sit and talk, or walk around the house. its all so low key. we go to the mall. to do christmas shopping. neither of us know what to get anyone. but we go anyways. and just wind up talking and sitting and observing. catching up on my life at school, and what's going on at home. how people have changed. it was just so nice and fun. to be with my dad. it was amazing. i forget how much i miss him when i'm away. We dont talk on the phone like my mother and i do. or email. But he is such a kind hearted man. so wise. so intelligent. i very very much enjoy time spent with my father. it makes my heart happy.

this just in...

2008-12-13T21:36:00.001-06:00

i'm awesome. This is a video of my first legit solo. ever. it was an amazing experience. honestly i thought it went kind of bad, and then i was made to watch the video of it. And i laughed seriously for like 5 minutes. i was shocked. i dont know if you've ever experienced this, but i wasn't quite sure what my voice sounded like until then. I mean i knew i loved the sound of my voice, and that i was a pretty good singer. i don't mean to brag. but damn i'm good, i was blown away. Just wait til you hear the whole choir. that'll be the next video i post.

wanting.

2008-12-05T16:36:00.001-06:00

i did not want to get out of bed today. i did not want to shower or look presentable. to go to chapel. to go to class. to do homework. to write an inordinate amount of papers. or work ever again. i just want to lie here in bed. drinking coffee discussing life with a friend. i want to travel the US. then the world. and see all the beautiful things it has to offer. to take it all in. i want to read wonderful books. and have wonderful discussions. and fill up journal after journal with profound thoughts and experiences. i want to sit in cafes and sip coffee. i want to be in nature among the trees. under the stars. in the silence and feel small. just dwelling. i want to be carefree. yet care about everything. i want to go to shows. and watch the faces of the musicians. pouring out their hearts. reveling in the music. and let it all flow over me, through me, and around me.

best ever

2008-12-03T15:18:00.000-06:00

11/29/08 an excerpt from my journal. "i feel like the city and suburbia have ruined me. The openness of the midwest, it is grandiose and simple. almost bleak, especially since it is winter. the leave have changed and fallen, the trees are exposed. its briskly cold. But most of all it is so calm here. small towns, few roads, and just long stretches of land, and big trees. Its beautiful. you can see for what seems like miles and in every direction. It gets so dark at night, the stars are so bright. The quiet is incredible, there's no sound but the occasional passing car. In town everything is so quaint, all the houses are lined up just so, there are little parks, and brick sidewalks. I just love looking around, taking it all in. I don't know what it is exactly but i just really love it here. i feel alive here, and truly at home." central illinois. sounds boring. but let me assure you my four days there simply incredible.

happiness is circumstantial. joy is not.

2008-11-24T01:07:00.000-06:00

I woke up and did not want to get out of bed. but i was going to church so it was ok. i missed church because of the joint service at another location. we laughed about it, and sang in the parking lot. and had breakfast together instead. all the breakfast hurt my stomach. so we walked and took pictures by broken things. showing the beauty in distress. we came back... i had to write my senior thesis. alone. but took a break for coffee anyways. my car was moved from the weekend parking lot for me. My laundry was done for me. my room was cleaned for me. and i wrote. and wrote. and wrote. I received a beautiful letter. and wrote and wrote and wrote. i "finished" at least the best i can. for today. two weeks from now my senior thesis will be over and turned in. for forever and ever. my brain is fried. and my heart is full. hugs all around. today was a good day.

humanity

2008-11-19T15:48:00.000-06:00

"The only dream worth having is to dream that you will live while you're alive and die only when you're dead. To love, to be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest place. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never forget." -Arundhati Roy

shades of orange

2008-11-15T13:26:00.000-06:00

I am sitting here on a drizzly crisp day in this wonderful little coffee shop at the foot of lookout mountain. Its autumn and the trees have exploded in a fire of colors and are slowly drifting and swirling around in the wind. I have turned in my graduate school applications, I am well rested, and in the presence of art, coffee, and companionship. I feel so light.

So you think you can dance.

2008-11-13T03:32:00.000-06:00

This routine is freaking amazing and you should watch it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSzPdn9jWmY but yeah i saw this live with one of my best friends at the so you think you can dance tour. try not to be jealous. although it really makes me wish that i could dance.

there are just no words

2008-11-12T14:16:00.000-06:00

I don't even know how to begin, i have not the skill nor the comprehension to write down all the blessings that have come into my life. I have been non stop busy. I have been taking test after test and writing grad school essays and avoiding my senior thesis, and working. All sorts of horribly taxing types of things. And yet I do not feel burdened, I do not feel too overwhelmed. I feel blessed. It seems like every single day. God has given me some wonderful undeserved gesture of grace, and i feel unworthy of it. It seems as though it has been so long since i have been taught gently. I have become accustomed change of a more painful and challenging nature, due to my own stubbornness. But God has softened my heart that i had so avidly protected, and so encouraged my broken spirit, that Joy has simply overflowed my heart. I had forgotten things. feelings mainly. I did not comprehend the completeness of a great friendship. I had forgotten the genuine concern and care that my professors have for me. The joy of people challenging me and stimulating conversation. And amist the whirlwind of academia I am content even joyful and that is more than enough for me.

GRE

2008-10-30T22:22:00.000-05:00

Today was the day. The day thats been looming over my head for weeks now. The day i take the test that essentially decides my future. I had the books, the flash-cards and even some software, (that took 4 different computers to figure out how to work.) And, I studied some. Here and there from summer until now, essentially banking on my great testing skills to get me through this monster. But i absolutely could not afford to do mediocre on the test, i have enough mediocrity on my grad school applications already. So to put it mildly i was a bit concerned. But i got up at 6:30, made a vat of coffee, and went on my way. down the mountain to meet my fate. I searched through three exits to find my traditional fast food breakfast. I cant very well take a standardized test without a bacon egg and cheese. might as well not even go. I get to the testing center, which happens to by sylvan learning center, which made me uneasy. i don't have the fondest memories of sylvan. but i checked in, emptied my pockets of all potential things that i could cheat with or disturb other with. which is. apparently everything. and waited. soon enough he brought me back and set me in front a computer. 4 hours. writing, math, and verbal. it was long. and arduous. and i thought i did terrible. but they give you your scores immediately after you finish the test. which is kind of like a punch in the face. but great since you dont have to wait weeks and weeks and worry about it. and i did great. above the average for accepted students into the PT programs at the schools i'm looking at. What a miracle, and such a relief to be done with it forever.

inclement weather

2008-10-24T12:08:00.001-05:00

So I'm back at school after a slightly relaxing slightly frantic fall break. And i am so glad to be back. I know strange right? I mean I'm more stressed out than i ever remember being. I have about 100 major things to accomplish this week and i'm taking the GRE. But I'm very glad to be at school. Glad to be back in my cosy little nook of a room with the rain pattering outside, glad to be back with friends, glad to be enjoying the fall weather and wearing sweaters and scarves, to be reunited with my french press and back into the routine of things. Its very nice. I just hope i don't die before the week is over.

the fam

2008-10-18T21:59:00.000-05:00

This is a picture of my family from when we went on vacation at the end of summer. (clearly my mother's not in it, she's taking the picture) But we're literally at the end of the road to nowhere. everything about this picture screams indie rock bad asses. I always forget what a beautiful thing it is to spend time with family. The likenesses between my brother and I still astonish me. We were discussing future plans the other night, and the way we could relate to one another was brilliant. Just to catch up with him, and hang out was a joy. And now i am back in my parents house, where they made me dinner and intently asked about my life. all the while my dog panting contently at my side. and i am desperately happy as i fall asleep in front of the tv. Family is something i always find myself taking for granted. But i never feel more understood or accepted as when i am with them.

My Heart

2008-06-24T23:50:00.000-05:00

I have spent my summer thus far, lazing about, watching tv, and overall avoiding too many responsibilities. But today was my first day of volunteering. It was absolutley incredible. Perhaps i was burned out from doing nothing all day and my brain rotting away from television. But today was by far the most enjoyable day i've had in a while. Healing Hands Physical Therapy has grown exponetially since i volunteered there last. going from 1 or 2 patients an hour to 4 patients every hour. And because i have worked there in the past they are now treating me as a Physical Therapy Aid, and i actually get to work and help treat patients instead of being mainly an observer. I'm allowed a lot more responsibilities and have already learned so much and i've only been there one day. 9 hours just flew by and i cant wait to go back tomorrow. All the doubts i had of, if Physical therapy was actually what i wanted to do, If it was worth the work. They were put aside today. I couldnt be more thrilled to do this with the rest of my life.

honest to blog?

2008-06-10T00:27:00.000-05:00

Ever have those times when you remember what its like to let go and have fun again? You know like we used to before life got complicated? Today i had a thoroughly adult day. One that entailed getting up, going to the gym, going to my doctors appointment, getting stuck in traffic and then going to class...late. ugh what a drag, i have gotten into such a sadly tedious routine, where i feel the need to be constantly entertained by technology or consumerism and I've been discusted by it. But tonight, tonight was different. Tonight my boys called me up around ten and asked if i wanted to kick around a kick ball. umm...sure? it was an unusual request being that our normal evening activities entail watching numerous movies in a row. accompanied with large amounts of junkfood. but off we went kickball in hand to the tennis courts to play what i've now dubbed kick tennis, three square, and a makeshift game of volleyball, or whatever various games we made up to play. it was fabulous, running around making up rules, reminding myself of my horrible foot eye coordination and why i never played soccer. (which i almost spelled socker) Laughing when Nate fell or when i failed to get even close to kicking the ball. It was a refreshing kind of fun, and made me so happy. I hope that this is something that we can do more of.

Opportunity Knocks

2008-06-02T14:10:00.000-05:00

On the way to church yesterday I was talking with my dad about something thats been on my mind for the past couple of months. Taking a year off and traveling abroad after graduation, and as i was talking i realized how specific of a trip i wanted. I wanted the ablity to choose for how long i went, i didnt want to go with a christian organization, I wanted to working with Physical Therapists in order to get work experience and volunteer hours and i wanted to be in a radically different culture out of my comfort zone but but at the same time have a comminuty around me so that i would not be too alone. All my research towards this goal had thus far been unsuccessful, i found either mission trips, solo internships, or work for certified physical therapists. Nothing for a person with an undergraduate degree looking to be a physical therapist. But this was all before talking with my father. . . We talked and i told him all of my desires and hopes for my year off. Of course he expressed interest and concern but said that we should look more into it and see what we could find. Later on in the day while i am on the couch doing my math homework and Dad come and sits down next to me. I am slightly irritated at this as i dont work well with other people around. Then he starts talking...great... But i dont really want to be doing math anyways. So he excitedly tells me to go to www.projects-abroad.org, i look it up. I could not have been more astounded and excited. It was everything i'd been looking for, a volunteer based program that allows you to live abroad, and I can work with physical therapists. I'd have a job working with and learning from physical therapists, I'd live in country with a host family near other volunteers, and would get to experience the culture while getting valuable work experience that will help in my grad school and future job applications. I could leave whenever i wanted and stay for as long or short as i wish. Everything is included and planned for, It looks like an amazing organization. This particular program goes to Mexico, Moldova, India, Sri Lanka, Ghana, Nepal, Bolivia, Ethiopia. Certain places have specialty clinics you can work at, others are more broad field. I'm so excited that this opportunity has opened up for me, both my parents are really supportive, provided that i still apply for grad school this year. If i get in, I'll defer acceptance, if not I'll go and apply when i come back. Right now its just deciding where to go!

Nada Surf

2007-10-26T11:21:00.001-05:00

I went to this show on tuesday. I skipped classes and put off studying for a chemistry test. and guess what. It was totally worth it. Although it almost didnt happen. Between forgetting my wallet, calling everyone i knew to see if they wanted to bring my wallet to nashville, and driving to murfreesboro to borrow a friends ID. It worked out and i got into the concert for free. It was amazing. Soo so amazing. Seriously one of the best shows i've ever been to. I had never been to a concert of one of my favorite bands. i usually just tag along with people who go to concerts of their favorite bands which i happen to know of. oh man. i loved every second of it, i was dancing and singing and smiling like a crazy person. I am a happy girl.

Austria

2007-07-06T20:18:00.000-05:00

So i've been back for a week or so. And i miss europe. and not being in class or working and just singing and hanging out with some cool people (emphasis on some) I have aproxametly 1,000 pictures from this trip soo this is quite an abbreviated version of the trip, and i have stories galore. But here are a few highlights, (many more of them are on facebook)

This is where we stayed. It was adorable and had a beautiful view of telfes (which is the town where we stayed)

This is a church where we practiced and had our final concert. right down the road from our hotel.
This is what the cities looked like. I loved it, you could walk everywhere and thier were Strassenbahn (street cars)
Their were musicians everywhere we went. I could do a whole post with photos of them. I thought it was so cool that the cities were filled with all this music.
German men. i love this picture
us singing, one of the few pictures where i;m not cut out of the choir (since i stand on the end)
Singing in a church.
Practicing with the german choir, this was our choir director joseph, we went out and partied with them the last night.
Alright now for all the fun pictures of people. and good times yayayayay.

Donkey Ball, or around the world ping pong, which we renamed Danke ball. (because danke sounds like donkey and danke means thank you in german.
Dinner in oberamagou, with our tour guide. can you guess who she is. (left to right) Tour guide, Josh, Me, Christopher, Jana, dan
Our choir before the tour of the neuschvanstein castle, this was actually my favorite tour, it was such a beautiful castle, and i could understand our guide, and she wasnt boring. yes.
Me with a goat.
Can you find me?
ME and dad.
At the top of the alps, this was my favorite day, we went up the alps in a gondola, and hiked around up there with a bunch of cool people. This is christopher and mark (mark is sitting)
On top of the alps
The End.

Home

2007-06-22T11:04:00.000-05:00

I have just returned from austria. It took two bus rides, numerous shuttles and three flights but here i am. after 24 hours of traveling (we left two am (no sleeping) on wednesday night/thursday morning and returned 7pm on thurdsay. with time change. with out it, we got back 1 am fridaymorning. whatever. it was exsausting and fun. It was an absolutly incredible trip. I'll try to go over it day by day with pictures when i download them. I'm both sad and glad to be back. Sad because what an amazingly beautiful country, the alps, rivers, glaciers. and the trains, gondalas and such. I'll miss how everyone takes care of the environment, how you greet everyone you pass, how you dont need a car to get everywhere. How clean and beautiful everything is. I cant wait to go back, i'm already making plans for that, except i also plan to know a little more german (Sienna, i have a little better idea of what you went through) and to be in a little better shape, It was rough running up and down the alps all day, well more like walking. But i am glad to be back. Back to cold sodas and telivision and english, yes spoken english, english menus, mmm large soda;s with ice. Cereal and milk for breakfast instead of meat sandwiches. My bed that is long enough. I met some incredible people on this trip, who i hope i will continue to befriend and some people i hope that i will never see again and should probably never EVER leave the country again.
So i'm still a bit jet lagged. i have no idea what time it is, and my ankles are still a little swollen. (weird) I have taken thousands of pictures. that i have not yet down loaded. THey'll be up in afew days i think. But for now. Here is my home.

This is my old dock...it is now gone and a new monster of a dock is in its place, no damage no missing planks...no character. Good bye old friend.

magnetic resonance imaging

2007-05-25T14:33:00.001-05:00

Today i got an MRI, weee. it was pretty cool. There were signs everywhere like this, like "the magnet is always on" or DANGER magnet!, i wonder what would happen if you went near the room with a lot of metal on. I had to fill out a form verifying that there wasnt any metal in my body, no implants, shrapnle, etc. but it really made me wonder...had i ingested anything metalic recently? ha I got to wear a cool hospital gown. crap its horizontal, i'll fix that later. All i have to say is its a good thing i'm not clausterphobic, cause its a pretty narrow tube that you have to lie in for like 30 minutes. i got to listen to music, and i fell asleep at the end of it. Its a lot of vibrating and kind of sounds like a jackhammer with different rhythms. fun times! Well i must take a nap, i've got a sleep over with nate and david tonight, and that means little sleep! so i've got to rest up!

summer life

2007-05-22T00:17:00.000-05:00

I've finally come to grips with the fact that my blog is not going to be as cool as anyone elses blog, by cool i mean not as eloquently written, or as picturesque, and not as interesting becasue my summer life is very very dull and ordinary. But it is my life and my story so i will write it lest i forget it. So here it is.. A glimpse into my day. Today i did two things...thus is my week. It will be my last week of freedom before all of my work, volunteering and schooling start up again. Boy summer did fill up fast. Anyways back to today. I woke up, not on my own accord but my mom coming in informing me that 1. demolishon in our kitchen started today and 2. i had a doctors appointment with a geneticist. So i proceeded to shower and i made coffee and as usual forgot about it until much later (normally i remember right when my head begins to twinge a little or i snap at someone) So after i was showered and dressed i sat down on my bed and thats where it all started. the beginning of the end. I opened the case of the first disc of the first season of grey's anatomy and slipped the disc straight into my computer. I watched it until i remembered my coffee, which was when my mom told me it was time to go to my doctors appointment, we had to go early to pick up some paper work. Doctors appointment, 3 hours of my mother and i talking about my family history, everyone in my families medical history, all the aches and pains i've ever had, all to see if i have a connective tissue disorder...which i dont...but do. I get to go get an MRI on friday. Which i think is totally kick ass, never had an MRI before. Its to check my spine, no need to worry i am fine, this is all just to make sure i am fine and will continue to be fine. I learned quite a few things today. 1.everyone in my family lives really long 2. my armspan is shorter than my height, which should be equal (check it out, its cool) 3. there are three types of connective tissue (colligen, elastin, and fibrillin) 4. i have really stretchy skin. overall a pretty cool experience, that hopefully i will never had to repeat, but will on january 7th. yay. its amazing how busy geneticists get. weird. so i get home at about 5, i shelled some peas that we had picked earlier that week when we picked strawberries...mmm. i like shelling peas. so tasty. ate dinner and then resumed watching greys anatomy, and i watched the entire disc, today. 5 episodes. that show is like crack. i know i should stop watching...but i just...cant. i love it so much. and now that i've finished it, i think i will go to bed. ALSO...i found this picture and love it. yeah i'm a dork...whats it to you.

home

2007-05-16T15:59:00.000-05:00

Yes i am finally home again. "the zoo will be closing in 5 minutes, the zoo will be closing in 5 minutes at that time all doors and gates will be locked" i hear the familiar voice of the man at the zoo calling out while i sit in my living room, signifying that it is 5 minutes till 5 o clock. The Norfolk zoo is just across the river from my house, and everyday at 4:30, 4:40, 4:45, 4:50, 4:55, and 5, i hear that mans voice. yes familiarity. it is so nice to once again be at home, to hear the trains, sirens, and yes of course the man at the zoo, once again. Home is never quite what i expect. i always expect eveyone and everything to be exactly the same as the way i left it, and of course that is not the case. For example. i came home and the kitchen is now in the dining room. my kitchen is being remodeled, how kind of my parents to wait for me to come home to do it, (why not why i was away at school?) so now the refridgerator, the oven, dishes, tables and various other kitchen like items are moved into the dining room, in boxes and paper bags, its amazing how much you can fit into cubards. and we have a week until they demolish the old kitchen. Good bye red countertops and green lenolium floors!! but only a week with the kitchen sink, so we have a week to make all of our food for the next month. (or so my mom thinks) should be quite exciting. and it cant be nearly as bad as when we remodeled all the bathrooms at once. when all we had was the kitchen sink. oh that was a bad time. Its been so great to see my dear friends once again, and of course i havent seen everyone yet, since i've only been home since monday, and not everyone is home yet. I will update this with more details and pictures later, with stuff about chicago, pictures of my friends and where i live. etc. But right now i must go to choir practice and learn 10 songs well enough to perform them, in one month, in austria. (with a choir that isnt very good, i hate to say it but its true) i have a feeling i will sorely miss covenant chorale after this rehearsal.

i am so proud

2007-05-07T15:01:00.000-05:00

My dear brother has finally graduated.

It seemed like it was going to be a perfect day for a graduation. a little overcast but warm. That was until i stepped out of the hotel to get into the car, and the lightning flashed and water started to pour from the sky. Fantastic, i had left my jacket in the car, so i was going to have to make a run for it. So once in the car my dad and i starting making our way to MTSU, and as usually we took the longest most round about way of getting there, what a great time to take a tour of murfreesboro! rushing around in the rain. Eventually we got to the conference center, around 25 minutes late, but no worries graduations last like 2 hours anyways. We barely missed any of the speaker, George S. Clinton. Then finally what we had all been waiting for the calling of names and giving of degrees. It all started with the School of applied science, where numerous graduates had RN written or sew on their hats and robes, symbolizing they had just become registered nurses. then the distance learning degrees, the liberal arts college, and then at last the college of communications, the one my brother would be graduating from. So it went, the speaker reading off name by name, from A to Z through each college, a process that seemed to last an eternity, then at last, DEVIN JARED LAMP, i had forgetten that my brother had a middle name. but alas We stood and Screamed and waved our arms! YES my brother had finally finished college, after 6 continuous years of education. he had made it, and with a pretty damn good degree. I smiled my face beeming with pride. Done at last!
siblings!

Please stop taking pictures.
AH yes then we went to dinner at BC Mcneils, a very fancy nice restaurant, mmmm. where dad continued to take an absurd amount of pictures. but all the food was absolutly fantastic.

Ah then we had some fun times at the hotel with the fam. games are a way of life in the lamp/cessford family. Dice cards, you name it we'll play it. unless spelling is involved.

then gifts were distributed this bling necklace my brother is wearing aparently was one of my grandpa lamp's treasures, he wore it all the time. which is quite odd. since my grandpa did not live in the hood, nor was he a player. i find it quite hilarious.

free...

2007-05-06T19:35:00.000-05:00

GREAT NEWS! i have survived and finished my sophomore year of college. all day friday i proceeded to pack all of my things into bins and suitcases. Stripping the room bare of all personality. Saturday morning my dad came up to help me load everything up and we put all my things into storage and filled the car with all of my crap. i had no idea how much stuff i had occumulated over the past year. it was ridiculous. I kept saying, "well i think thats it! no wait i forgot out this box, or that suitcase."
I am now reveling in my freedom, no classes no papers no tests. Simply waking up when i want/ when my parents yell at me. going to bed when i'm tired. Going to shows and hanging out, I'm loving it. I'll be travelling for the next week with my family Up to chicago. i have no idea what we'll be doing or where we'll be going. But hey thats the way i roll.

Free Cone Day!

2007-04-18T16:59:00.000-05:00

Free Ice cream! Ooooh yeah. Once a year on April 17th Ben and Jerry's does free cone day, i think its their birthday or something to that effect. Either way it was awesome, our hall went down and had a blast. I ate two, and alisha now has the record with 5 ice cream cones.

I WANT SUMMER

2007-04-14T16:10:00.000-05:00

I want to see these kids.

So the year is coming to an end and i want to go home. I'm sick of school food, i long for my mom's cooking and a kitchen when i could cook if i so desired. I desparatly want to see my old and dear friends. I want warm weather, beach and cook outs. I want lazy days! 2 weeks left...thats all.

and this girl!

Bro Time

2007-04-10T00:28:00.000-05:00

I went to go spend easter break with my brother in murfreesboro, and it was pretty awesome. The usual late nights, movie watching of normal breaks plus the added bonus of a show or practice every night and delicious neat pizza.
Drew, Casey, and Trey at lunch!
YEAH!
rock on, name on the marque!
The Ascent of Everest. They were incredible as usual
Oh yeah we had a juice party, getting our drink on!

4S Wins Again!!!

2007-04-05T11:36:00.000-05:00

Last Night was Carter Live! (our dorms sorry excuse for a skit night) needless to say no one wanted to do it but all the halls came up with ideas the night before. I came up with ours and it went a little something like this... President neilson-me, is introducing a speaker in chapel and there is a student day dreaming about what if fairy tales were musicals? it was absolutlly awesome!!!! and WE WON SECOND PLACE!!!

Spring Banquet

2007-04-03T16:00:00.000-05:00

A marvolous night of dancing and dressing up!

Tall girls in Heels!!

The Howard Sisters and me

And i quote "am i standing in like 8 states right now?" -tobi

actual dancing!

blackjack!

2007-04-03T15:30:00.000-05:00

or 21 as its also called, March 30th was my dear friend Suzanne's 21's Birthday, so as proper friends we went downtown and got her properly liquored up, and i watched.../drove. WOO! I think that this was drink number 5

As it turns out

2007-03-24T19:04:00.000-05:00

I take a lot of pictures of my own feet. As i was looking through all of my photos i really like a lot of these pictures, it sort of shows my journey in a way, where my feet have been, anyways i think that they're really neat.

EMILY IS HOME!

2007-03-22T16:56:00.000-05:00

My dearest high school friend emily, has come home from africa! I missed her ever so much and it was amazing to talk to her on the phone for nearly two hours. I'm so excited to see her! (easter break hopefully!)

What can i say, we're pretty much the most attractive people ever....

Play Time in the PARK!!!!

I have missed my tall, beautiful, singing buddy.

First Nice Day!

2007-03-22T15:39:00.000-05:00

Kyrie, Eric, and ME! I for the life of me could not get on that statue, that and i was afraid.
These pictures are from a while ago (end of february) on one of the first nice days we had in a long time, The beggining of spring if you will, even though the first day of spring was technically yesterday. Cooliage park is always a blast once it starts getting nice, so there will be many pictures in this location to follow

Oh MaryBeth, we had such a fun time on the railings and the "slide" that marybeth would later hurt herself on. ha

Ironically i am terrified of heights, i can climb up the bridge but not the aluminum statue? weird, some man told me not to jump off.

Railing races, Eric almost took me out sliding down the railing right into me.

The slide!!!

Matchy Match!

2007-03-22T00:32:00.000-05:00

This is me and my dear friend Sienna (future roommate) We have matching shirts, the funny thing about that is that it is in fact a maternity shirt. Haha from Target! It is a fantastic shirt indeed.